i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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