The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Randomize
