if i can run in heels then i can drive
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
