You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
