Small penises have feelings too.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
