somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
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