3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
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