sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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