Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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