dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
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