so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
