brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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