I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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