Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
A+ Viking dick
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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