I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Randomize
