I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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