i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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