don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
