how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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