I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Randomize
