His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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