Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
