Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
