i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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