MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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