Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Randomize
