She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
