Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
