He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
