Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
