One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
