guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
