You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
