What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Randomize
