And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
