she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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