More tranny stories later!
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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