I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
