I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
They are going to name an STD after you.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Randomize