I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
