I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
