It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
