This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
