If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
