..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
zippers are such a cool invention
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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