What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
