was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
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