i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
