This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
