like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize