you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
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