I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Randomize
