so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Randomize
