Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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