I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
