best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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