direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
