I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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