I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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